Isaiah 59:1 even for families

November visitors

The arm of the Lord is not too short to save

nor His ears too dull to hear. (Isaiah 59:1)

I thank God for the time we had with my mom (nana, as my nieces call her) and almost-7-year-old niece Niley.  I pray that what my mom has seen and heard while with us and all the Christian brothers and sisters we have here in Guadalajara will grow in her life and take root in her.  May her eyes be completely opened to what pleases the Lord God; that her heart continue to be softened and receiving of God's true saving sharp Word - that she too might be saved and receive a warm welcome by God when she stands infront of His grand majestic presence.  I pray the same for my niece Niley. As she learns about God at her Catholic school (plus the repulsive traditions that come with Catholicism), I pray that the Lord God and His truth alone will be the only thing that truly takes her captive and she too might be saved.  I love them so dearly and want them all to come to the knowledge of God's Truth.  But I know that God loves them so much more than I ever could, and wants them to be saved more than I could ever imagine!

niece Niley & uncle Nick 

Well, we got to do a little horse-back riding in Lago de Chapala on their first day with us.  Niley loves riding horses.  She rode her first horse at such a young age at a Farmer's Market back in Santa Rosa, CA.  She was SO excited, that she didn't even need to rest or take a little nap after arriving at 6:30AM!  She went with me to the little street market to get some veggies and fruits for the week, while my mom (nana) definitely had to rest up a bit before our little afternoon trip to Chapala.

I love it when Nick and I get to ride horses together!

she loves her uncle Nick!

It's true that disciplining and being disciplined are two things that do not feel good at the moment. One looks like the bad guy and the one being disciplined…well, let's just say we all know it's not the greatest feeling to have at the moment.  However, discipline is love - just as the Bible says: those that God loves, He disciplines.  Praise God! There have been many times in the past that I remember when Niley got some discipline from her uncle Nick.  And sure, there were pouty faces from her, and of course the one disciplining does not like the feeling of having to do so either.  Despite those moments, Niley always comes back and wants to be with her uncle, with hugs and smiles! :)

saw a gorgeous sunset sky just before our dinner arrived

we took them to the Guadalajara Zoo on their 2nd day

And saw some cool animals...

we fed giraffes with carrots as they came to our Safari truck!

a 1-month old white lion named, Tauito :)

And then my mom and Niley got to meet all our JESUS friends & family!

 Friday Thanksgiving dinner at our house with our JESUS outreach team & friends

Uncle Nick made his 3rd Turkey! :)

Food & Gospel Outreach at a park infront of a public hospital
JESUS is the ONLY WAY to be redeemed
the only way to God the Father in peace

And last but not the least: the night before our November visitors flew back to California, as our usual Saturday afternoon/evening activity, we went out to the streets to share the beckoning message of the Lord Jesus, and this time brought some home-made burritos and cinnamon drink.  My mom and niece came with us.  Since Niley loves to to sing, we put her in charge of the tambourines and sing along with us.  I pray that one day all she will want to sing are songs honoring to the Lord. 

she learned the Spanish version of How Great Is Our God

and one of my favorite songs - Come On, My Soul.

friends and sisters in Christ: Gracie (on flute) & Mari

Rosalind and her voice for the Lord!

Normally, you will find us at the downtown plazas preaching God's Word.  This past Saturday, we decided to visit this little park infront of a public hospital.  Families of the sick in the hospital stay at this park because they are not allowed to stay with their sick loved ones inside the hospital.  Only one person gets to visit the sick family at a time, so they take turns.  We've done this kind of outreach last year on Christmas day, and there are quite a lot of families out there along with drunks and homeless people too.  PRAY for a harvest in this little park.

For a little more on this Thanksgiving Food & Gospel Outreach, go to our ministry blog or simply click on the link.

November visitors: mom & niece

Family…

That's the closest unit one could have.  

You share so many same beliefs and traditions, and make so many memories together. Through thick & thin, through bad times & good times, through sadness & joy, through trials & successes.  Your life could easily revolve on family. Your focus and loyalty can easily belong to family.  I had all that and much more with my family.  

And then God found me.

Everything changed when God found me. I started questioning all sorts of beliefs I was taught by my family.  Traditions and habits and core structures of being a family were shaken, tested, and compared if they aligned with what God has to say in the Bible. It was hard. It was like World War III, as I used to refer to those times of battling within myself and questioning my mom with all sorts of questions and doubts, wanting answers if all I did as a child and as a young adult for the sake of God were truly pleasing to God.  I found that so many were just based off of traditions of men, of the world - not of God.  I went through a year of asking who am I.  I felt very torn. I loved my family. I enjoyed doing the fun things we did together.  I tolerated certain things within our family unit for the sake of keeping everyone together and happy.  But in all honesty, we weren't truly happy, and we weren't really together.  So many fights, so many arguing, yelling, bitterness, hate, and guilt. Gossiping and quarrels even existed among the cousins and uncles and aunts over matters of no eternal value.  We all needed Jesus.

And then God found me! 
I praise God that He found me.  Now, I pray for the rest of our families to be found. First, they need to repent and agree with God's Living Word - sharper than any double-edged sword.

My mom and almost 7-year-old social butterfly chatterbox niece are coming to visit us here in Guadalajara, Mexico for the first time since we moved down here back in 2008.  I am excited to have them visit this place, and see what we do.  At the same time, I have this longing in me, wishing so badly that my mom were truly saved.  It's quite difficult having to explain what you do for the Lord and why you do such things to someone who has not had that amazing and gracious revelation of who the Lord is (even though they might think they do).  I love my mom so much.  But I know that God loves her even much more than I could ever imagine!  So I pray.  I stand in faith that Isaiah 59:1 will be true for my mom.   And my little precious funny niece, well…I am super excited to have her visit.  She grew up in my mom's house, where I used to live.  She holds a special dear place in my heart.  I pray for her too -- that the Lord God may have a way into her life.  Please join me in praying for their visit this week.  They will be spending Thanksgiving with us, and will get to join us as we feed many hungry and lonely and broken-hearted people in front of an old public hospital on Saturday afternoon after Thanksgiving.

birthday thankfulness

I know I am blessed. 

I am blessed beyond what I can really understand in my head and see through my eyes right now. And one day, it will be completely clear.  Often times, we have somewhat a distorted description and point of view of what blessed means.  I stumbled upon the following in the Bible:

When God raised up His servant, 

He sent Him first to you to bless you 

by turning each of you from your wicked ways.

Acts 3:26

I know I've read this many a times before, but it was only recently (within the past 5 months, I would say) that this scripture became so evidently clear to me.  The blessing one receives from the Lord comes first through what the scripture above says.  One is blessed - seriously blessed! - when conviction comes to the heart, and repentance happens, which then leads to salvation and a new life in Christ.  Forgiven. Redeemed. Bought a costly price. Made new. Covered in the precious blood of heaven's darling. 

Do I really get it now? 

If you claim to be a lover and believer of God, do you really get this?

Well, I hope that a revelation will come in due time if it hasn't already. It is an amazing thing, and still blows me away every time I am reminded of this.  Blessed. 

To share a little heart-warming event that happened last night, here are a few photos of a birthday celebration for me.  First, my husband had a seafood home-made dinner for two on my birthday night. I ate almost all of the yummy crabs.  I itched afterwards and had to take a hot shower to relieve some itching, but it was worth eating them crabs :)  We also had some gluten-free and gluten-filled home-baked biscuits. I t was a delicious birthday dinner.  All of it cost less than $20 US dollars, since we currently live in Guadalajara, Mexico. 

Here's the proof of the seafood yumminess :)
I'm sure you don't wanna see the messy part of this dinner.

Then, last night, on our Wednesday Bible study night, our sisters in the Lord had an ensemble of yummy foods and treats as birthday present for me - of course, I had to share.  Of course! :)  They totally had me surprised.  I even cooked dinner for us all, as usual since it was our Wednesday gathering night, not knowing there would be a giant box of pizza, potato chips, chocolate-covered berries, a pumpkin pie, and a donut with blue frosting!  Needless to say, I think we stuffed ourselves a bit too much.  My husband even got to eat pizza with cheese without getting sick - praise God! He hasn't eaten anything with gluten or with lactose for a few long months now, but he was fine afterwards (with a little help from a Lactaid pill).  Below are proofs of the goodies :)

One of my most favorite colors is blue.

My friend and sister in the Lord, Gracie, got me this blue-frosted donut.  I ate it this morning for breakfast with a good hot cup of coffee.  yum! I am a sweet tooth :) I'll admit.

These were delicious! 

 Another friend and sister in the Lord, Ayanna - who is also a medical student and goes out to the downtown plazas with us to share and preach the gospel, brought these chocolate-covered berries. I discovered something more delicious than chocolate-covered strawberries.  Peaches!! :)

The mess at dinner time, when all the surprises came :)

Miss Yoli (Nick's co-worker), who is also a sister in the Lord, and Rosalind, another one of them (and a graduating medical student!) brought the huge Costco pizza and pumpkin pie. 

Talking about being blessed…this is just a little thing of a blessing in comparison to the redemption done by Christ on the cross for me and for all who would believe.  However, don't get me wrong, I appreciated this little surprise gesture our friends and sisters in the Lord did for a post-birthday dinner :) Thank you all!  And thank you for all the prayers you lifted up to our Lord for me.  They were very heart-felt.  My 28th birthday was quite memorable. 

another year! 28.

Today, I feel like reflecting a lot :)  

I do enjoy journaling and reminiscing on  memories made, especially of times after being redeemed, after starting the new life.  So, this reflection blog I started at the end of last month is really a good thing to have for me.  I can even put pictures and edit photos and videos, and etc, and much easier, too, than doing all this on a journal notebook or even on a scrapbook page! :)  So, today, I am publicly sharing this little reflection blog site to the whole world online.  There's a hope behind this publication.

Today is my 28th birthday.  I am so thankful for another year of life, a redeemed life at that! Praise the Lord! I joke with my husband Nick that I am catching up to him in years.  LOL! :)  

Well, I can't really imagine ever going back to my old life. I remember it to be just full of having to do so many things to be accepted by people, when all you and me really need is to be accepted by the Heavenly Father - receiving a warm welcome, a well done my good and faithful servant, when we stand before His Heavenly Majestic Throne!  Aaah, I can only imagine!  Seriously. 

Thank You, Lord, for redeeming me! 

Thank You for another year of life!

Anyway! Before I get all mushy…

I'm off to a jog/brisk walk, reflecting some more :) 

And I'm already thinking of how yummy our dinner tonight will be - crabs and shrimps! My favorite! Although they make me itch afterwards. Oh well! :)  The chef will be my wonderful husband :)

I'll leave you with this song from Bethany Dillon, "I Am Yours."

Church, arise!

A much newer song I first heard about 2 months ago is from a small group called Leeland. The song is called "While We Sing." I seriously had tears bubble up as my heart got convicted even more. Praise God for His continued refining in me. Below is the song:

So, church, you who say you love God, please arise!

church

Let's go to church.

Where's your church?

A building by itself with four walls, with a childcare room, a stage, a pulpit, a music & technology room, even with a kitchen and a grassy yard would not make a church.  

Yesterday during our Sunday gathering, Nick pointed out to our small team that gather together with us on Sunday afternoons for church what exactly church is all about and what does this word church truly means.  I myself have thought of the word church as a mere building, a place of gathering.  When I practiced the religious beliefs and traditions of Catholicism I have always thought that church is a place where people gather to sing songs to God, to recite prayers together, a place to kneel, a place to experience the presence of God.  Then, I repented of those things (many of the Catholic beliefs and doctrines and traditions) that I thought were good and noble and pleasing to God. I became and called myself a Christian - a Christ believer and follower, what the Bible says.  Still, the word church had the same meaning to me: a place of gathering.  And for a long time even in my Christian walk of faith, church simply meant a place to me.  

If you are like that right now, I especially encourage you to read on and have your Bible ready with you to investigate if what you are about to read aligns with God's Word.

So, yesterday at our Sunday afternoon church the following scriptures were visited:

When he landed at Caesarea, he went up to Jerusalem and greeted the church and then went down to Antioch. (Acts 18:22)

Point of the above scripture: Paul greeted a group of people - the church! Do you greet a building by waving to it or kissing its cheeks or shake its doors when you arrive to it or see it? That would be ridiculously funny.  So, here, apostle Paul greeted people, not a place nor a building nor a house.

Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers. (Acts 9:31)

Point of the above scripture: The "it" in this scripture refers to the church - a group of people - whose numbers were added to, increased upon, multiplied in numbers.  In other words, the number of people in that group (the church) grew.  From 5 people, it increased to 8, then to 12, then to 25! As an example.

So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. (Ephesians 4:11-13)

Point of the above scripture: The body of Christ refers to that group of people whose faith is in Christ, whose loyalty belongs to Christ.  So, the time we spend together in church is for equipping each believer for the works of service the Lord has for us to do.  It is a time of preparation, edification, rebuke and correction, and instruction.  It's like gym time, workout time - in a very spiritual sense.

Another scripture must be visited as well, and it is found in the book of Ephesians chapter 5: 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:21-30)

 Point of the above scripture: I think it is clear.  Re-read the scripture above, and ask the Lord God to open your eyes.

In fact, if you read through the book of Acts you will most likely get a revelation of what and who is the church.  Also, the letters to the churches found in the book of Revelation chapters 2 and 3 will most likely guide you into the truth about what and who is the church.

I hope this reflection post encouraged you in your faith, and I hope that it also challenged you to dig deeper into the Bible and ask the Lord to reveal His Word to you - have your eyes be opened to godly wisdom that only God can give.  Here's a song from Casting Crowns called If We Are The Body that I had first heard when I was in my 3rd year of college back in California.  I remember the feeling and thoughts of doubts and questions that sprang up in me when I first heard this song, although I could not point my finger to them at that early point of my walk as a young Christian.  Now, I do, and God still continually opens my eyes to what I should be seeing and breaking my heart to the things that break His. Praise God!

what is worship?

I don't claim to know everything about worshipping the Lord God Almighty in songs.  However, about a year or so ago I stumbled upon a Bible scripture in the book of Amos chapter 5.  It is wise to read the entire chapter to understand the context of the scripture I am about to share.

Away with the noise of your songs!

I will not listen to the music of your harps. 

(Amos 5:23)

The first time I saw this scripture, it put a fear in me and a concern whether God is pleased with the songs I sing and play on my guitar for Him.  I remember reflecting on this verse for a long time, and having to pray a lot before playing songs on my guitar for the Lord.  I guess I must really want and long for the Lord God to accept the songs of praise and adoration and supplication that I play on my guitar.   I don't suppose this is a bad thing to long for.  So from then on, it's been a habit of mine to pray first and ask God to cleanse me from the inside out before worshiping Him in songs, and especially before leading others into worshiping Him in songs.

A lot of what is worship is still being revealed to me by the Lord and through the Bible.  There are many scriptures in the Bible that talk about why believers (the righteous and the justified) must worship, and that it is appropriate and right for believers to do so. The book of Psalms in the Old Testament of the Bible has so many scriptures about worshiping the Lord in songs and in music. I am reminded of King David (a man after the Lord's heart) and his singing for the Lord, as written in the book of Psalms.  King David also danced before the Lord - ignoring the people watching him, and just focused himself, mind and soul and heart, in worshiping the Lord God, forgetting any hint of embarrassment or of being shy to do so in front and amidst of others.  It was as if it was just him in the presence of the Lord.  Even back when the Tabernacle and the Temple of the Lord were still standing, God had specific instructions about music, musicians, and music instruments to be used in worshiping Him in songs.  1 Kings 10, 1 Chronicles 15, 2 Chronicles 9 are a few places in the Bible where you can find God's specifications on music made for Him.

Here are some of my favorite scriptures in the Bible about worshiping the Lord in songs:

My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; 

I will sing and make music (Psalm 57:7)

It is good to praise the LORD 

and make music to your name, O Most High. (Psalm 92:1)

Sing to the LORD with grateful praise; 

make music to our God on the harp. (Psalm 147:7)

Let them praise his name with dancing 

and make music to him with timbrel and harp. (Psalm 149:3)

Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 

speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. 

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 

always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, 

in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:19-20)

I love to sing to the Lord, and my feet like to stomp to the rhythm of praise for Him!
And I so like this song!!

My husband's co-worker Yoli (we call her miss Yoli) translated the simple lyrics of this song to Spanish. We sing it when we gather together on Sundays for church - the equipping of the saints.  I will post a home-made guitar music audio of it soon.  Meanwhile, below are the lyrics of the song above in Spanish.

Animate mi alma!  Animate mi alma!

Derriba los muros! Y canta mi alma!

(Repeat the above 3x)

Vamos, vamos, vamos, vamos!

Es tiempo de alabar!

(Repeat the above 3x)

prayer for my brother

While reading through the book "The Cross & the Switchblade" by David Wilkerson, I was reminded of my now-25-year old younger brother (Nichole, whom I address as Col, but others call him Nico).  It's not like he was ever in such horrible gangs like the boys in New York that the late Reverend David Wilkerson got to assist and point to Jesus….but wait, I think he could have been.  Actually, I don't know all the details and history of my brother's dealings with gangs.  But I do know that he had been involved with certain gang(s) and had gone to jail/juvenile hall a couple of times or so for fights and all that.  I do know, and can see the lasting effects and consequences of such destructive influences in a life.  It is absolutely un-necessary!  And it rips apart the life of the one who got involved, and the lives around that life.  It completely kills and destroys.  It keeps one captive to the chains of the devil.  In fact, the author of the book describes the devil (whose goal is to kill and destroy) as behind the needle and the narcotics of a drug addict, the mastermind of gang-hood.


As I was reading through the book, I thought of my brother.  He's now back in the Philippines (where we were born and lived and grew up).  He's now a father of 3 daughters - and sadly, separated from his first 2 daughters, uninvolved in their lives.  I see in him rebellion against the Lord.  I see in him selfishness and lack of love and consideration for others, but himself.  But then again, how can one truly and sincerely and altruistically love others if he himself/she herself does not even love God? (Romans 1:18-32).  And please don't say that you love God, but yet your life does not reflect that you do love God.  The Lord Jesus says in the Bible: 

If you love me, you will obey me (John 14:23-24).

Well, anyway. I was reminded of my brother a lot while reading through the book, and my heart was hurting for him, crying out to the Lord to please save him.  I was remembering the promise in the Bible found in Isaiah 59:1  

The arm of the Lord is not too short to save; 

nor His ears too dull to hear.

I stand in this promise for my brother, and for all.  Although in my eyes he has gone so far from the Lord's embrace and has gone too deep into sin and pride, it is amazing to be reminded of the scripture above.  

Below is a video I had made back in August 2008 with tears rolling down my eyes (in fervent prayer for my brother).  I made it thinking it would simply be a funny memory-lane video gift for him for his birthday.  In the process of making it, the song from Casting Crowns called "Prayer for a Friend" came to my mind.  I ended up using this song in the video, which then changed the original funny idea to a fervent prayer for a lost brother.  

Please join me in praying for my lost brother - that he would come to a place and time in his life of true repentance and conviction, and realization of his need of a Savior to save him from the path he is on that leads to destruction and eternal condemnation in hell, completely separated from God's love and mercy forever, in agony and in pain and in hunger…and all that is for forever.  I really would not want that for him nor for anyone, because I would not want that for myself.   And when you pray, remember that we have only one mediator and intercessor: he is JESUS CHRIST, to whom the Father God listens and with whom He is pleased (1 Timothy 2:5).

tiangui (street market)

Well! I never really was a vegetable-lover back then.  But ever since I got married to Nick (who is much a vegetable-lover), I sort of have become a fan of veggies. :)   All these cost about $12 US dollars.  So, I spent about 150 Mexican Pesos yesterday at a tiangui that sets up every Wednesday very near to our newly rented house: within a 2-minute walk from our house, that is!   Yesterday was the first time that I really went shopping there.  I carried with me a recyclable Safeway grocery bag, where I put all the fresh and beautiful-looking produce I bought from the tiangui.  I also got 2 pairs of fake pearl earrings for less than a $1 in total: fuschia and pastel green in colors.

This is what a tiangui looks like.

Basically, imagine a street with rows of booths paralleling each other.  There are a variety of vendors: from fresh produce to clothing items and accessories, household goods, even meats and seafood (on ice!), and cooked meals are being sold too - made in front of your very own eyes.  :)  Nick has once gotten me these yummy pastries called gorditas de nata which are filled with chocolate inside.  mmmm! Well, that was my little adventure yesterday morning after my light jog/brisk walk.

the Cross & the Switch Blade

This is a book (outside of the Bible) that I am reading through right now -- ever since I took my first medical licensing exam and upon receiving a passing score, I have had a bit of free time here and there.  I'm reading through the book of Acts in the Bible currently, and this little book intrigued me after my husband Nick read it a couple of months ago.   

It's basically like a documentary of how a young preacher, the now late Reverend David Wilkerson (back in 1958) listened to God's voice and obeyed the specific orders God gave him, following the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Because of this young preacher's obedience to the specific calling and orders from the Lord, despite confusion and fear and lack of planning and clarity, many gang members (boys and girls) in the New York area were pointed to the Lord Jesus.  Their sad and destroyed lives were transformed into joyful and life-filled lives by the Lord God Almighty, filled with the Holy Spirit!  

I am enjoying this read, for it reminds of the times that the Lord God revealed specific things to me about my future that have now come to pass.  The book isn't that long, and it's a quick read. It appears to be encouraging - how amazing to know that God wants to use people to bring about the expansion of His Kingdom, and bring redemption in ruined lives.  This book actually makes me think of the rap song by LeCrae "Beautiful Feet" - which encourages and challenges the believers to GO, as Jesus commissioned those who believe to preach the gospel to the lost and dying world (even though the world might not see itself in that state).  

I would say I recommend the book; but just don't forget to set time aside to read God's Word, so that you may be able to discern what aligns with God's Word and what does not. 

be still and listen

Be still 
and know that I am God; 
I will be exalted 
among the nations, 
I will be exalted
 in the earth.  -Psalm 46:10




Yesterday, during our home-church Sunday gathering, the Lord brought a reminder to me through a sister in the Lord.  The reminder was to "be still" and to stop and listen to the voice of the Lord Most High.  


Do you know that God speaks to His people, even to the redeemed of today?  


We've read the Bible stories about Mary (the mother of Jesus) who heard from God through an angel.  We've read about Daniel and the visions God gave him through dreams.  We've read about Isaiah, Ezekiel, Abraham, Samuel, and the other redeemed men and women whose lives have been included in the Living Word of God - how they heard the voice of the Lord, given visions, and specific instructions on their specific service and duties for the Lord. Well, God still does those things to the redeemed of this current time.  But we've got to stop and listen, and be still.


So, today I'm dropping off my "to-do list." I'm going to be still, pick up God's love letters to us (the Bible) and listen to what He has to say to me today.


Here's a little up-beat song from Bethany Dillon called "Stop & Listen."  Perhaps, it will get you into that longing to stop and listen to what the Lord of lords might have to say to you today - that is, if you belong to Him.

I'm going to continue reading in the book of Acts (in the Bible, the 5th book in New Testament, after the 4 gospel books) - for those of you who are just starting to walk in the faith or getting know truly who God is and what His Word says.   


If you're totally new in reading the Bible, I recommend reading the gospel of John.  After you finish that head on to the book of Ephesians, then to the doctrine book of Romans.  Dedicate time to make sure you'll get to read all of the Bible, including the books in the Old Testament side.


May the Lord God give you revelations of who He is, and may you hear and listen to His voice, and obey.  

USMLE step 1, beaten!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.   *Romans 8:28*


Many would say "the third time's a charm."

But I say GOD always has His perfect will and perfect timing.  

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the USMLE step exams, here's a little background.  The USMLE is the United States Medical Licensing Exam program which all medical graduates go through in order to be licensed to practice medicine in the United States (and also needed to practice anywhere else in the world as a US citizen physician).  The licensure of a medical doctor requires passing the 3 USMLE step exams (Step 1, Step 2, Step 3).  Each of the step exams has a different level of testing, and different components are added to Steps 2 and 3.  

The medical school I attend here in Guadalajara, Mexico (Autónoma de Guadalajara, Facultad de la Medicina) enforced its own rule of not letting students move on to the 3rd year of medical school unless we passed the Step 1 exam.  I first took it in January 2011 after I passed my university's sign-off exam through the Kaplan review program, which my med school required us to take for a grand fee.  I failed the exam on that first attempt.  I actually received my score the morning after a laparoscopic surgery I had to remove a 6-cm cyst on my left ovary.  I remember that moment, laying on the hospital bed in a hospital gown when I opened the email that contained my score report document.  My husband Nick did not want to leave me any technology with which I could retrieve my score report online (the USMLE scores were emailed to the exam-takers 3 Wednesdays after having taken the exam. That's the normal score delivery, but it can actually take much longer as I found out later).   However, I insisted and pleaded with him to leave me my laptop and I'll keep a good eye on it while in the hospital room, and that I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a passing score.  I wasn't actually worried, to be honest, if I passed or not.  Perhaps, the pain medications had quite the relaxing effect on me.  I failed my first attempt at the Step 1 exam. Looking back months after that day, I realized that God most likely intended it.  Why, you may ask?  Well, a few days after being discharged from the hospital, I received very sad news: my paternal grandpa had passed away (in his sleep).  I got to go to his funeral (praise God who moved my mom to pay for airline tickets for me to go).  I traveled to the Philippines a week after my minor surgery, saw families, confronted a brother who's deeply in sin, and was given the chance to preach the Word of God at my grandpa's funeral (inside a Catholic church, in front of  a Catholic priest, in a very Catholic country).  You see, if I had passed that exam back in January 2011, I would have started my 3rd year of med school then; but I would have lost the chance to preach God's Word to my families in the Philippines at such an opportune time.  I now realized that, and can honestly say: thank you, Lord!

So, I studied for it again, in hope that I would just be a semester behind from a few of my colleagues who had already passed the exam.  However, my study time seemed to have been quite filled with "interruptions" as I called them.  I presented to take the exam on my 2nd attempt in June 2011.  The day before my exam, I was very anxious and nervous - in fact, I think it was probably God's way of saying that it wasn't time yet.  But back then, I didn't realize it.  I thought I was just being a nervous wreck and not putting my trust in the Lord.  So, I went on to take the exam - totally and completely nervous the whole 7 hours I was in the testing center, that I felt like vomiting during the whole time I was answering those 350-something questions.  Despite that, I came out of that testing center still very happy and hopeful I had passed.  Six weeks later (yes, that long of a nerve-wracking wait!), rushing home from class (I was temporarily allowed to start the 3rd year of med school while waiting for my score) I was greeted by Nick with a sad face.  I failed on my 2nd attempt.  That time, I actually cried and was upset, and really sought the Lord's guidance and any re-direction I thought He might have been telling me to take.  Honestly, I was ready to leave and give up the marathon to becoming a physician (if God had changed His mind about it) - besides, I've always thought of opening up a café/restaurant of our own.  Not to my surprise, I can honestly tell you that I heard my Lord say "don't give up, keep going."

So, I buckled up once again and studied for that exam.  Once in a while, I'll get moments of wanting to give up. I also had moments of pouting with a few tears and asking the Lord why I haven't passed yet.  He was faithful and gracious in reminding me that His will and timing are perfect; I only need to believe and trust and follow His lead.  Besides, if I truly heard Him in 2005 re-direct my ambition in becoming a glamourous doctor to becoming a doctor for His glory and "because of this" (another story), then He is the One that will make me into that doctor in His perfect will and timing.  I only need to believe and trust.  Three months later (October 2011), I presented to the same testing center I've gone to twice already within less than a year and took my 3rd attempt on passing the Step 1 exam.  Three weeks later, this morning at around 7:16AM, I received my more-than-passing score!!   PRAISE THE LORD!! So, in January 2012, I will be starting my 3rd year in medical school.  My husband kept reminding me as I studied for this exam (for the 3rd time) that when King David and the Joshua and the noble Bible characters went into battle, they never had to doubt whether or not they would win that battle: God made it clear to them they would get the victory.  

I love this song called "Your Love Never Fails" - there are two version I know of: one from Jesus Culture and the other from Chris McClarney, the latter is my preferred version :)  LISTEN & SWAY DANCE to it! :)  Raise your hands up and clap to the Lord in thanksgiving!

now & then

For you were once darkness, 

but now you are light in the Lord. 

Live as children of light 

(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 

and find out what pleases the Lord 

*Ephesians 5:8*

It still can "get me" how the Lord of lords softened my heart and transformed me into the woman that He's always intended for me to be.  Even that thought alone amazes me: that the God Almighty took notice of me, found me, and was merciful and gracious to mold me into someone whom He would like to use to expand His Kingdom.  The fact is, however, each one of us has that invitation extended to us - if only we would receive it, exchange our guilt and shame for an imperishable heavenly crown, stored up in heaven for us to receive that one glorious day.  Ah, I can only imagine!


 From pride, hate, arrogance, deceit, and selfish ambition, God is mighty to save! He has freed me of them all.  Those chains hit the ground! (Listen to Leeland's Chains Hit the Ground)


Many of you who will get to read this will say to yourselves "well, I wasn't that bad of a person - I never smoked, I never was a drunkard (although I socially drank), never killed anybody, never was promiscuous.  In fact, my mom was pleased with me in the things I excelled, and I wasn't a problem child to her at all.  I was a good student, a leader to my peers.  I worked hard in all the things I put my hands on, I volunteered to as many community events presented to me, I fed the hungry and the orphans, gave clothes to the poor, visited the old people in convalescent hospitals and the cancer-ridden kids at children's hospitals on Halloween and Christmas, put together toys and coloring books and socks and candies in shoeboxes that were shipped to poor countries for the kids there, and I even went to church almost every Sunday!"  


Exactly.
That was my defense, then, too.
However, this is what the sharp and living Word of God says about all that:

"All have turned away, all have become corrupt; 

there is no one who does good, not even one" 

(Psalm 14:3, 53:3)

There was a raging battle within me to accept that.  I had always regarded myself as a good person - one who was strong-willed in doing what I thought was good, caring and looking out for others, greatly ambitious, a hard worker in all things, and did only the reasonable and socially-acceptable leisurely stuff. Yes, I was quite the prideful young lady with a good head on her shoulders.  

However, if you could somehow have seen the true contents and make-up of my heart within me - like the Lord God was able to do and still can do - you would have been repulsed by what you could have seen, perhaps greatly sorrowful as well.  Repulsed because of all the evil truly residing in my heart, despite the good-deed outer appearance.  Sorrowful because of all the pain and sadness and emptiness that truly enveloped me as well - but which I covered up by strong self-will to avoid looking quite vulnerable to others, avoiding their pity.  

But praise God!! I am no longer any of that. 

That was my past, when I lived in darkness, chained to sin.

NOW, I have been REDEEMED!  

I've been made new through the covering of the precious blood of the Lamb of God when I repented of all of that.  My chains hit the ground!  Hallelujah!!!  God is good! And I was not at all.

I now walk with the Lord's light shining on me, guiding my steps to life everlasting with Him in peace and joy, even while still sojourning on this earth.   

No more shackles! 

No more pain! 

Glory to the Lord God, my Sovereign King!

I am now a wife of one man - a pastor of the Lord's sheep, whom I respect, serve and love.  I no longer abhor hatred within me because of things that occurred in my life - I laid them down at the feet of Jesus, because He said to cast our burdens and anxiety upon Him, for He cares.  I am filled with joy for the Lord granted me mercy and grace! I play the guitar to make music and bring praise and sing to the Lord, for that is good.  I keep a house that God has provided us, and it's open to serve Him.  I preach the Word of God, the same Word that came to life and brought conviction that led to godly sorrow and repentance, and then salvation - which now I work out with fear and trembling.  I am a medical student, whose previous selfish ambition to be a glamourous physician in the U.S.A. has been turned right-side up - meaning that it's now for His glory and His plans in His perfect will and timing.  I am daughter to parents, grand-daughter to grandparents, sister to siblings, auntie to nieces and nephews, niece to uncles and aunts, cousin to cousins, and friend of friends who still need the complete revelation of the Lord, that He took upon the punishment originally meant for us because of our wickedness and rebellion against the Lord God Almighty, and that He is currently beckoning for them (perhaps, for you too) to repent and return to Him truly and sincerely, and then enduring in it firmly.


I've closed the book of my old life, and am now living in the book of my newly transformed, redeemed life in Christ Jesus - Lord & Savior!


As in the God-inspired Word (the Bible):

Brothers and sisters, 

I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. 

But one thing I do: 

Forgetting what is behind 

and straining toward what is ahead,  

I press on toward the goal to win the prize 

for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13-14