And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. *Romans 8:28*Many would say "the third time's a charm."
But I say GOD always has His perfect will and perfect timing.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the USMLE step exams, here's a little background. The USMLE is the United States Medical Licensing Exam program which all medical graduates go through in order to be licensed to practice medicine in the United States (and also needed to practice anywhere else in the world as a US citizen physician). The licensure of a medical doctor requires passing the 3 USMLE step exams (Step 1, Step 2, Step 3). Each of the step exams has a different level of testing, and different components are added to Steps 2 and 3.
The medical school I attend here in Guadalajara, Mexico (Autónoma de Guadalajara, Facultad de la Medicina) enforced its own rule of not letting students move on to the 3rd year of medical school unless we passed the Step 1 exam. I first took it in January 2011 after I passed my university's sign-off exam through the Kaplan review program, which my med school required us to take for a grand fee. I failed the exam on that first attempt. I actually received my score the morning after a laparoscopic surgery I had to remove a 6-cm cyst on my left ovary. I remember that moment, laying on the hospital bed in a hospital gown when I opened the email that contained my score report document. My husband Nick did not want to leave me any technology with which I could retrieve my score report online (the USMLE scores were emailed to the exam-takers 3 Wednesdays after having taken the exam. That's the normal score delivery, but it can actually take much longer as I found out later). However, I insisted and pleaded with him to leave me my laptop and I'll keep a good eye on it while in the hospital room, and that I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a passing score. I wasn't actually worried, to be honest, if I passed or not. Perhaps, the pain medications had quite the relaxing effect on me. I failed my first attempt at the Step 1 exam. Looking back months after that day, I realized that God most likely intended it. Why, you may ask? Well, a few days after being discharged from the hospital, I received very sad news: my paternal grandpa had passed away (in his sleep). I got to go to his funeral (praise God who moved my mom to pay for airline tickets for me to go). I traveled to the Philippines a week after my minor surgery, saw families, confronted a brother who's deeply in sin, and was given the chance to preach the Word of God at my grandpa's funeral (inside a Catholic church, in front of a Catholic priest, in a very Catholic country). You see, if I had passed that exam back in January 2011, I would have started my 3rd year of med school then; but I would have lost the chance to preach God's Word to my families in the Philippines at such an opportune time. I now realized that, and can honestly say: thank you, Lord!
So, I studied for it again, in hope that I would just be a semester behind from a few of my colleagues who had already passed the exam. However, my study time seemed to have been quite filled with "interruptions" as I called them. I presented to take the exam on my 2nd attempt in June 2011. The day before my exam, I was very anxious and nervous - in fact, I think it was probably God's way of saying that it wasn't time yet. But back then, I didn't realize it. I thought I was just being a nervous wreck and not putting my trust in the Lord. So, I went on to take the exam - totally and completely nervous the whole 7 hours I was in the testing center, that I felt like vomiting during the whole time I was answering those 350-something questions. Despite that, I came out of that testing center still very happy and hopeful I had passed. Six weeks later (yes, that long of a nerve-wracking wait!), rushing home from class (I was temporarily allowed to start the 3rd year of med school while waiting for my score) I was greeted by Nick with a sad face. I failed on my 2nd attempt. That time, I actually cried and was upset, and really sought the Lord's guidance and any re-direction I thought He might have been telling me to take. Honestly, I was ready to leave and give up the marathon to becoming a physician (if God had changed His mind about it) - besides, I've always thought of opening up a café/restaurant of our own. Not to my surprise, I can honestly tell you that I heard my Lord say "don't give up, keep going."
So, I buckled up once again and studied for that exam. Once in a while, I'll get moments of wanting to give up. I also had moments of pouting with a few tears and asking the Lord why I haven't passed yet. He was faithful and gracious in reminding me that His will and timing are perfect; I only need to believe and trust and follow His lead. Besides, if I truly heard Him in 2005 re-direct my ambition in becoming a glamourous doctor to becoming a doctor for His glory and "because of this" (another story), then He is the One that will make me into that doctor in His perfect will and timing. I only need to believe and trust. Three months later (October 2011), I presented to the same testing center I've gone to twice already within less than a year and took my 3rd attempt on passing the Step 1 exam. Three weeks later, this morning at around 7:16AM, I received my more-than-passing score!! PRAISE THE LORD!! So, in January 2012, I will be starting my 3rd year in medical school. My husband kept reminding me as I studied for this exam (for the 3rd time) that when King David and the Joshua and the noble Bible characters went into battle, they never had to doubt whether or not they would win that battle: God made it clear to them they would get the victory.
I love this song called "Your Love Never Fails" - there are two version I know of: one from Jesus Culture and the other from Chris McClarney, the latter is my preferred version :) LISTEN & SWAY DANCE to it! :) Raise your hands up and clap to the Lord in thanksgiving!
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